Looking for the rainbow....

Once again it's been a VERY long time since I posted a blog. Sorry! I'm not very good at this. :o) I'll start with an update on the boys and then work my way up (youngest to oldest). Tucker is a very typical 2-year-old. lol Some of his favorite sayings are, "Go away!", "Leave me alone!", "Coby did it", lol "I love you more!", and "I can do it all by myself". Tucker speaks VERY well for a little tyke. I can't get him to shut up when we are home...lol He loves to help me with "everything" (I'm still developing my patience's....lol). He loves to tackle his older brother. He has a little attitude for SURE. lol He's sooo cute. He loves saying his prayers. We love our little Lucky ducky. lol My Coby Clayton is such a mommas boy. I just love him to pieces. Coby starts pre-school on September 2nd. He has made it VERY clear that he does NOT want to go to school! I don't really want him to start yet either, but grandma thinks it's a good idea for him, so we will give it a month and see what will happen. If he is very persistent about not liking it then I'll withdraw him and try it again next year. Coby has learned that Jesus was baptised in the river Jordan, and was baptised by John the Baptist. He learned it from a primary song, and loves to just share that information with us. It's SO cute! lol Coby and Tucker are the best of friends and also the worst of friends at the same time. lol They can be giving each other loves one minute and then be trying to scalp each other the next minute. :op Coby was totally potty trained and now for some reason he's reversed it. AHHHHH! I still love my little snuggle bug! As for me, I was diagnosed with a muscle disease a few weeks ago. My muscles are deteriorating. It's not like MS or anything like that. My muscles are breaking down and then being filtered through my kidneys. It causes a lot of fatigue, muscle pains, etc. On a positive note, I just got back from a Body Shop at Home convention which was FABULOUS, and I've decided to do something with it for once. lol We have launched some REALLY AWESOME new lines so please check out my site at www.thebodyshopathome.com/web/torisandberg . We have a new baby line (my friend uses it on her baby and it's just WONDERFUL!), a new mineral make-up line (Chase Aston does make-up for TONS of well known stars and super models and he only uses the body shop make-up), and a new Well being product line (I really recommend the deep sleep pillow mist works GREAT!). I absolutely love working for a company that has such amazing ethics. They started a human trafficking campaign in England this year, and next year they will launch it here in the US. I'm SOOOOOOOOOO happy about that because it's an issue that really touches my heart. I invite you all to use Body Shop products because it truly is an amazing company and we do amazing things for our world. :) Thanks for all the support! On to Derek now, well...he was fired about 2 Saturday's ago from Winger's. It was a shock because his boss emailed him to notify him that he no longer had a job. Things are going to be pretty rocky for us for awhile, but I know that God will provide a way for us if we have faith. We could definitely use some extra prayers. I don't understand how people are able to get state help so quickly and easily because it just doesn't seem to happen like that for us. They keep telling me to wait 2-3 weeks before applying for certain things because they use the last 30 days of wages to figure things out. Ahem, why would you do that if you are currently without a job???? Does that make sense to anyone cause I'm not seeing the logic behind this. No job=no job to me so what does the last 30 days have to do with anything? It's pretty retarded. Derek starts school next month for his CNA course. I wish he would've done it a year ago when he first decided to do this, but I guess better late then never. He wants to go on to become an RN and then he'll get his master's in nursing. I think that with all the trials we've been going through lately surprisingly now we seem to be pulling closer together instead of apart. I've been carrying a lot of stress on my back but I'm realizing that I need to give my burdens over to Heavenly Father and trust that he will help guide us through this. :o) So yeah, lol we have a crazy life right now, but I know that there will be a rainbow after the storm... (I'll just keep looking out my window til I see it).

Much love to you all!

It's been a LONG time....

I think the last blog I posted on here was back in April, so a lot has happened since then. Sorry! :) Well, back March or April I was diagnosed with Grave's disease, it's an autoimmune disease. For some reason autoimmune disease's tend to run strongly in our family. When I first learned that I possibly had Grave's disease it really freaked me out. I had never heard of it before and the name scared the crap out of me. :) No worries though the name "Grave's" is named after it's founder. :) Some of the side effects are bulging eyes (more common with smokers), tachycardia (fast heart rate), difficulty getting pregnant, anxiety's, paranoia, chronic diarrhea (I just assumed it was from my gallbladder being removed), tremors, short term paralysis, shortness of breath, heart disease, etc. I had the majority of those symptoms (no bulging eyes or heart disease). There were a few treatment options available for me drug therapy, radiation, or surgery to remove my thyroid. Your thyroid levels are supposed to be within 10-12, mine the first day was at 68 and the second day was at 98. Very HIGH! The Rad tech's seemed really concerned and kept stressing the importance of getting into my doctor as soon as possible to go over my treatment plan. At first I decided to do the drug therapy, and then after I took the first pill everything just felt wrong. I called my doctor and switched to radiation. I had to wait 1 or 2 weeks because I had taken one of the pills. I did the radiation and had to stay away from my boys for at least a week (although I've been radioactive much longer then a week). One thing that wasn't mentioned to me was how much your throat hurts after doing the radiation. I didn't want to eat or drink for the first few days. I couldn't get comfortable because my throat hurt sooooooooo much. It only lasted about 4 days I think. I was put on a beta-blocker before the radiation to help control my heart rate and tremors. So the last week of May I went in and had some blood work done. They said that my TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) still wasn't producing hormone yet, so they put me on some other medication. I hate it because I feel really antsy and high strung. I wake up pretty much every morning around 2:30 AM and can't get back to sleep until it's almost time to wake up. Grrrrrrrr! I was first told that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant or have a normal baby (most likely would've been born retarded), and then when I met with my Endocrine (thyroid) doctor she said that you'll still be able to get pregnant in the future just don't do it anytime soon (at least 6 months). That was great news for us. :) They want you to wait at least 6 months before getting pregnant because a lot of times when you've got the grave's disease and had the radiation you're baby could very likely be born without a thyroid and that would cause severe problems for the baby. The thyroid is what controls your metabolism, heart rate, etc. My big reason for opting to do the radiation was that sometimes it can take years to regulate your thyroid using the drug therapy which would be more risky if I wanted to have more kids in the future which I do. With the radiation I know that if I wanted to get pregnant in a year I can....I'm not sure how easy it will be to get pregnant. We hadn't used any birth control after we had Tucker and he's 2 and we only got pregnant once last year but I miscarried early in the pregnancy (associated with Grave's disease which I found out later). I'm excited because that means we'll still be able to have our little Chloe, someday...lol :)

"No one is so lost that angels can't find them!"

My heart aches for the family in South Salt Lake City that lost their daughter yesterday. I am so angry. I think that our court system sucks. I'm all about not giving criminals rights. With all of the sexual and physcial abuse that goes on behind doors I'm ready for the government to put cameras in our homes. I really am. I know that many people out there don't feel the same way, but think about it, if we did....how many children would be spared? I can't seperate myself from the children...and if it came to saving just one child by doing this, I'm 100% for it. My heart is sooo broken thinking about what lead up to Suna Moo's final hours and for her family.... I honestly feel that sex offenders should be locked up in a facility like alka tras (sp), and literally throw away the key! Unfortunately, we have way too many liberals out there and that would never happen. It's a shame that we can't do anything to protect our babies. They aren't even safe in their own beds. One day I'm going to get into some form of law enforcement and start making some changes. I'm 100% pro death penalty. It should be painful and intense. All of those children that have died at the hands of these sick ______'s died from intense unimaginable pain...where is the justice???? There isn't. I just want our babies protected...and that will never happen with the way society is. Here we are over seas fighting a never ending war, and yet monsters roam freely in our own country. Take the money and forces and change ours!! I was just recently diagnosed with Grave's disease, it's an autoimune disease. It makes it very difficult to have children, and if I did they would more then likely be born retarded. It also includes many other health factors. At first I was really sad because I've always wanted 5 children, and now I'm thinking it's a blessing. Now I can really help make a difference for the children in the world. Once my boys are a little older I'm going to get envolved in Foster Care, and start working with the children one on one....what a blessing. :) I know that I'll have my 5 children it's just not going to be the way I originally thought. :) My P. Blessing mentions that I have this Christ-like love that will allow me to help those that rarely experience love.....it didn't really make sense to me before and now it's soo clear....it's our children in the world. The ones that have been abused and unloved! :)*** I pray that H.F will bless me with the tools that I need to be able to reach out to as many children as I can. They are my heart and soul. Yesterday a couple of ladies posted a sign on poster board that says: "No one is so lost that angels can't find them " how amazing and profound that is. :) It brought me such relief when I read that. That's been one of the hardest things for me to deal with is the knowing that they are alone, but they aren't...they never are. :)** I was thinking about little Suna Moo yesterday around 6 something, and I just got covered in goose bumps, I knew she was dead. I tried to use my energy to see where she was, but I couldn't see anything. When Elizabeth Smart went missing I did that with her, and I saw lots of sage brush, and rocks.....I found out months later that her captor had her trapped behind her yard and that's what was around them. I'm not saying I'm a psychic, but I know that I've been blessed with certain gifts that allow me to feel energies, and to know if someone is bad, etc. Anyways, I can't figure out how to post a song on here, but please listen to the song Lost by Michael Buble. I listen to it over and over.


Love ya,

Tori

So here I thought I'd be posting once a week...lol and it's been almost a month since the last one. SORRY! ;)
Coby (aka snuggle bug) is growing up so fast. It's makes me sad to think about how he has changed in the last three years. I miss holding him all the time. He was such a good baby, and soooo darn adorable. I can't imagine my life without him or Tucker of course. :) Coby has such a sweet spirit and wild body lol. When he sets his mind to something that's it...he's going to do it. :) He has always had this way about him that just makes me feel at peace. He pretty much always knows when I'm sad and comes over and gives me hugs and kisses. I just love those kisses. He's working on his ABC's. :) He used to have them memorized at like 2 and a couple months...lol then he started confusing himself and it's never been the same since. lol He skips over EFGHI and goes to JKLMNOP...lol I hope I can get him back on the right track with that before he's in school. lol I love my little snuggle bug. :)
And then there's Tucker (aka lucky ducky) he just makes my day. lol He is also growing SO fast. :( Tucker is catching up to Coby in shoe size and clothes. lol It's just crazy. Coby has always been very skinny and Tuck just came out big and has remained that way. lol Tucker is sooooo stinking cute it's unreal. lol He does this thing where if he gets mad, annoyed, fed up, whatever, lol he folds his little arms across his chest and makes this angry face and it just makes me LAUGH! lol Once I start laughing he breaks down and starts laughing and then quickly tries to regain his pose...lol it's SO cute. I need to get it on film. lol He always says thank you, and please. :) I just love little lucky ducky. lol He's so cute!!! lol
As for Derek and I....hmmm same old, same old. We are just so different that it's difficult for us to be together effectively. I don't know if that makes sense. We both have a lot of growing to do.
My grandpa died Feb 20, 2008. I wasn't sad at all because he's just been bed ridden basically. I'm glad he's a peace now. It's really strange to think about it though. I just keep thinking that he's in his room, but he's not. He had a very difficult life.
Well, I'm out of words for the night....Derek's birthday is on Friday. He will be the big 30! He's getting so OLD! lol ha ha... I have no room to talk. I'll be 29 in November, ugh!!!!!!

Much love!!

Life in the fast lane..... lol

Ok ok, so maybe it's not the fast lane, lol maybe I'm just driving in the fast lane trying to get away from my two little slave drivers. lol Don't get me wrong I LOVE MY LITTLE BOYS, but oh my gosh it's soooooooo hard. For example, my younger one Tucker loves to scream and scream and scream at night. I'm going crazy from lack of sleep. Tuck always ends up waking up Coby who then joins in on the screaming. I was so exhausted last night that I actually ended up falling asleep after a few hours. The three nights prior though the boys screamed so much that I finally let the beasts out and then they were up one day from 2:30 til nap time the next after noon at 1, and then 3:30 same crap again. Super Nanny I need you!!!! lol I'm pretty confident that my boys hold the record for distroying a house in under 30 mins. It's crazy. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH lol Heavenly Father must have a seriously funny sense of humor. lol Or maybe I should say a "sick" sense of humor. lol jk With all the crap I deal with on a daily basis I still love my little rebels. lol They are my life, as crazy as it is..........lol